For those who are ready to return to Love

I’m standing today at the gateway
Between what was and what is to come
Prepared to embrace my future
Yet remembering where I come from

Integration is happening inside me
All my pieces are coming together
Parts of me that were hiding in darkness
Have come into the light now – forever

The road has been long and treacherous
So many memories I kept from myself
Wounded imprints from trauma in childhood
Hidden poisons left rotting on the shelf

The courage it has taken is enormous
To lift the lid on the secret and unseen
To understand what has locked me in misery
To release it and finally feel clean

Generations of wounded have come before me
Passing their darkness onto their young
Unwilling to examine their shadows
Burying their heads and biting their tongues

Their silence and denial offends me
How dare they perpetuate their pain?
Why haven’t they owned up to their darkness?
Instead of creating more and more of the same

As a teenager I decided I had had it
That I would NOT pass on the disease
That I’d rather stay childless and single
Until at last I had found the right keys

To unlocking the doorway to divinity
Putting an end to the lineage of abuse
Saying NO to the lies of my elders
And then finally untangling the noose

The core of our pain starts in childbirth
And gestation filled with loathing and fear
Our own mothers handing over their power
Taking drugs, smoking cigarettes, drinking beer

And then birthing their babies in violence
C-sections, episiotomies and more
Epidurals, anesthetic, and demerol
Separation that goes right to the core

Ridiculous attempts to create numbness
To deny our culture of hate
Birthing babies asleep and unconscious
Leaving infants alone at the gate

How disgusting to hand over our power
Undermining the essence of birth
What on Earth could we possibly be thinking
As we belittle our value and worth

Denying our own inner calling
To protect our infants at birth
Handing over our sons to be circumcised
Then pretending that they don’t feel traumatized

Allowing our babies to be taken
To be poked and prodded and hurt
Then placed in nurseries of horror
Their nervous systems on hyper-alert

And I question how many infants must suffer
At the hands of this sadism and pain
C-sections, episiotomy, circumcision,
All done for profit and gain

It’s pathetic and I knew it from the get go
That the buck stops with me – and that’s that
I will NOT birth my babies in violence
Or allow others to tell me where it’s at

I have grown into a strong, empowered woman
With a voice that’s committed to truth
Speaking out about outrageous betrayals
When others may think me uncouth

Well too bad! I accept myself fully
And I am done with holding myself back
Stripping away old layers of uncertainty
Putting an end to my suffering and lack

And my efforts have evolved me into an elder
That embodies great wisdom and love
Standing ready to guide the next generation
On the path to rising above

I am standing today at the gateway
To fulfilling my purpose on Earth
Protecting the incoming children
Choosing life, choosing love, healing birth

Poem written by Jeanice Barcelo