What’s All the Hype About Ecstatic and Orgasmic Birth?

Originally posted July 2010.

Dear Friends –

In 2009, I created a facebook group entitled “Ecstatic and Orgasmic Birth: The Highest Culmination of Human Sexuality” — which is no longer available online due to  facebook deleting my account.  The purpose of the group was to help raise awareness of the fact that many women were, indeed, experiencing ecstatic and/or orgasmic births.  I wanted to impress on people’s minds the possibility that birth not only can be pleasurable, but in fact, it is supposed to be pleasurable and filled with love.  If it is not pleasurable and/or filled with love, then we have taken the wrong approach toward pregnancy and childbirth and need to shift gears.

The group was also intended to educate and empower people regarding the benefits of ecstatic birth, while simultaneously exposing the shadow side of hospital birth and the negative impact technological interventions are having on children, mothers, fathers, families, society, and our entire civilization.

I chose the name of my facebook group based on my belief that, when two people come together in a mutual explosion of love, with a conscious intention to bring forth life, the encounter has the potential to culminate in the opening of a grand shamanic portal that allows a third being, molded by the energy of LOVE, to enter our dimension in one big ecstatic bang. To me, this is the highest expression of human sexuality and the key to reuniting our species with its original blueprint and its innate capacity to emanate, transmit and receive love.

Because ecstasy and orgasm coincide with the activation of the neurobiology of love, they are a fundamental part of what makes the preservation of love in families possible. This is, in my opinion, the reason we should care about having an ecstatic and/or orgasmic birth – because it can support us in attaining what we are all truly longing for – i.e., THE FULFILLMENT OF HUMAN LOVE AND THE PRESERVATION OF LOVE IN OUR FAMILIES!

Unfortunately, not everyone in my facebook group had this much clarity about why they are attracted to ecstatic birth, and some of the members were drawn to the group for reasons that go something like this:

“We are here because we are sexual addicts and we want to figure out how to have more and better orgasms. We are seeking to know how to fulfill our carnal appetites as we believe that our shallow and shadowy sexual experiences will somehow lead us to an ecstatic life.”

Ecstatic birth, in this context, is little more than a hedonistic ritual during which women use their children’s arrival as a means to parasitically derive sexual pleasure and arousal for themselves.

To give you a few examples of the kind of energy I am talking about….

One member shared a link to her ecstatic birth event on the wall of my facebook group – an event that was described as a “clothes-on, hands-off” class in which participants learn how to have “easier arousal and expanded massive orgasms”. When I went to her website to view the full event description, I found it contained many flashy tantric buzz phrases such as “better sex,” “altered states of consciousness” and “spiritual trance journey,” but not a single mention of the words “baby” or “love.” I also found that, through her site, I could get access to video excerpts of “Hot Wholistic Sexuality” as well as a curriculum offering classes such as “Getting Off on Going Down and Giving Head” and “Coming Beyond Your Wildest Dreams.” The “Tour de Sex” schedule also looked very interesting, offering classes such as “Playing the Skin Flute” and “Orgasmic Abundance for Everyone”. But the crème de la crème was definitely “The Pussies and Puppies School of Love” and a class on “Empowering Our Kid’s Sexuality” (as if exposing our kids to sexual addiction and repetitive pornographic thought/behavior will somehow lead to their sexual “empowerment”).


Another member of my facebook group offered “TantricBirth Doula Trainings” and classes such as “Clitoral Revelations” and “Building Your Sex-Positive Family,” the latter of which she co-taught with the director of a sado-masochistic organization that offers a variety of bondage and discipline courses including “Female Genitorture,” “The Practical Application of Floggers Workshop,” and the “Joys, Pleasure and Pitfalls of Cock and Ball Torture.”

As if all of this weren’t sordid enough, still others members (who were promptly banned from the group) used the page as a place to post alluring and sexually provocative pictures of themselves, presumably imagining the site to be a valid place for the misuse of female sexuality and the manipulation/seduction of men.

Folks – I need to make an announcement. This is not the kind of energy I wanted for my group, and in fact, I believe it is creating a huge distortion in the field of ecstatic and orgasmic birth (and a huge distortion in the expression of human sexuality, in general).

Birth is NOT a pornographic event – and while it has the potential to be the most expansive spiritual/sexual experience a woman will ever have – that expansiveness is not the result of physical pleasure, but of LOVE.


Please, let’s get clear about why we are drawn to ecstatic birth and stop allowing ourselves to be side-tracked by pornographic illusion and manipulation. We are making a mockery of our spiritual essence when we focus on physical gratification as an end in itself. We are not our bodies, and physical orgasm (no matter how “multiple” or “expanded” it is) is but a millionth part of what we have the potential to experience when we set our hearts and minds to the real goal, which is love.

Love is the target folks. Let’s program that into our navigation systems and find the most direct route to our destination.

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